Newbie Guy

Hi All~
After much time and many relationships, I am happy to have found both the reason for the prison in which I live and the path that will lead me out of it. I presumably have suffered from AD since the divorce of my parents and the seemingly benign, yet frequent, bouts of rejection and hurt that followed. Here is my story:

I am the second of three children born during my mom's first marriage. My mom suffered from an apparent anxiety disorder after the death of her first son, and my dad became a progressively distant alcoholic. My parents divorced when I was eight years old. I witnessed a couple of my mom's adulteress affairs and, unknowingly, told on my mom to my dad that 'mommy sleeps at her friend's house but sometimes on the floor with us'. She entered into a physically and emotionally abusive marriage. They had two more children, but the pain only continued. One of my siblings suffered from molestation and another abused alcohol and cocaine. For me, I often felt more like a burden to my mom than her son. I usually had to find my own way to any activity, including those which I participated. My older brother received all the accolades, and deservedly so, as an All-State football player and top academic student. However, I, too, was an All-State musician and top 10% graduate in my HS class. But, that always took the 'backseat' to him.

The rest of my life has played out accordingly. I have had several unsuccessful relationships-every one of them ending in 'cheating' on their part- that had a steady diet of anger, jealousy, and controlling tendencies. I am in another relationship now that will, too, end in the same disasterous manner as all the others if I am not diligent and focused on finding the real problem and getting help for it. I look forward to establishing many friendships in the weeks and months to come.

David