Chris28

Hi. My husband, Charlie, and I have a eight year old adopted son,Mikel. Mikel was born to a 13yr old bmom and lived with bmom,bgrandmom, and great aunt for his first 7mo.(going back and forth between them)Went into foster care at 7mo. for two months, then placed back with great aunt. That lasted one week, then he was placed in our foster home at the age of 9mo. He was a perfect baby! Such a joy to be with. Our teenaged son and daughter really got attached to him,too. Mikel was with us for 19mos. and then was placed in an adoptive home.

We had fostered many babies and were used to letting them go,but we really had a hard time when Mikel left! After five months I still cried when I thought of him. We had never even considered adoption for ourselves.

Six months after he left our home,Mikel was back as a foster child again. The adoption had never been finalized.Turns out the adoptive placement mom was an aloholic and was emtionally and sexually abusing him. We were heartbroken! The beautiful,laughing little boy we had given them was terribly broken! Not yet 3yrs. old, his behavior was unbelievable! Of course we had never heard of RAD, and we were sure that if we "just loved him enough" he would heal.

The love that we already had for Mikel got us through the next three years. We adopted him when he was almost 4. Regular therapy helped with some of his anger, the many RAD behaviors continued. He would go into such rages at bedtime that he had to be medicated. Finally ,after two years we were referred to Dr. Greg Keck and he was dx as RAD.

It was a relief to finally know what was going on.! Although we were disappointed to learn that attachment therapy intensive was a "jump start" and not a "quick fix". I ,of course, was looking for a quick fix!!

Mikel has made remarkable progress since his intensive in July '99. The rages are gone completely and the physical hitting has stopped. His big issues are the crazy lying, constant chattering, and of course CONTROL. These come and go , and whenever there are changes in his life (starting school,trips,etc.) these escalate. He still has problems with wetting and soiling himself(esp. when things change).

Love and Logic parenting works really well with Mikel. We just need to learn to be consistent with it.(easier said than done! Really apricate the support group and list. It's amazing how similar these kids sound. God Bless all you great parents!!!

Chris(aka daisymom28,aka chris28)

Update(2-01) Mikel has also been dx with ADHD, and Sensory Integration disorder. He is now on Adderall and Clonidine for the ADHD, which has improved his focus. He continues to 'rollercoaster', however, we now have many more ups than downs!