Nichola

Where to begin?? Alot of my childhood is giant blank spots, thus I didn't go into great detail. It all started before I was born. My mother was into drugs and alcohol.(trying to escape her own childhood) and my father worked alot. After I was born, my dad continued to work alot and my mother was not a very good caregiver..passing my brother and I off to my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. My brother and I both learned at a very young age to fend for ourselves and to depend on eachother. We were both sexually abused very badly. Then, came a time when my mother and dad got a divorce and my dad remarried. My stepmom was/is a great woman but didn't know how to handle my brother and I.. and most of the time resulted to beatings and mental games. There came a point in time when I heard my full name, I just took off. I ran away a lot. But the beatings and mental games would continue. This was all before the age 16. One day, when I was in middle school, the school nurse found out about all my bruises. (I couldn't sit down) I was taken from my parent's home and place under the care of Children Services and foster care. After many therapy sessions, (where I just told everyone what they wanted to hear b/c I missed my dad) I went home. The physical abuse slowed down (but didn't quite go away), but the mental games were still on-going.
The battle between my stepmom and I continued well into my twenties. (we are slowly overcoming the past) I, now, am in therapy, but not RAD therapy. I have been DX with RAD, ADHA, bi-polar, and FAE. I feel so alone and angry and sad at the same time. Some days, I feel like just giving up, while other days..I feel like I can take on the world... One day, I will conquer this.